Monday, February 09, 2009

I'm mad at you, no I'm mad at me

I do this thing were I get severly pissed off, and have these conversations in my head. Example:

Me=Me S=Subconcious (or consicous I have no clue but that little voice that is always right)

Me: Why does the universe dislike me with atomic intensity?

S: Maybe it isn't the universe. Why do you dislike yourself with atomic intensity?

Me: I don't *mutter* *mutter*

Me: Why am I so untalented?

S: Quit wanting things you don't have? *under breath* Spoiled Brat

Me: Why would I want them if I could have them?

S: You have plenty of talents, but not the rare kind.

Me: Oh thanks *rolls eyes*

These are the exact reasons why I believe no one should pay for therapy. Be your own therapist and save yourself a small fortune. I'm banning myself from TV I believe it is making me depressed (I'm serious). I always know that the movie about the person who got what they really wanted is fake and it only happens in movies, but I always have some glimmer of hope that it could happen to me. Or I could be the person who got everything they wanted blah blah. If I did get what I wanted I would just want more and more and there would be no end so I'm limiting the things I want to these 3 on the list right here.

  1. Clear Skin (I can't tell you how many years I've wanted this)

  2. To do Ballet and do it well. (I don't know why I desire this so but I do and I thorughly believe you should follow your passions)

  3. To have someone outside my family tell me I look pretty. (I know so vain, but ugly people need to hear this more than the people who get told 1 million and 1 times a day. I guess it is something pretty sad to want, but I really just never feel like anyone likes me.)

So those are my three. I think 3 is a good number. Okay now more complaints,

I have been realizing over the past week that no one really likes me that much. I mean sure I have friends, but I always have a feeling that if I were gone no one would miss me. (I'm not talking about suicide, ewww I would never ever do that.) You know how you have friends but no best friends. Like when you have to choose partners you are the one who is always left in the dust. That girl is always me. I'm always stuck with someone I didn't want to work with.

1 comment:

Strawberry Girl said...

I can't believe I missed this one. I can say I sympathise with this (although I have so much psyco-babble running around in my head that says to NOT sympathise with people because they don't appreciate it) I can say that I do sympathise because I too hold regular therapy sesions with myself and at 13 I didn't really have any real friends either. In fact, once I forgot my notebook folder in my History class and some boys stole it, brought it into the bathroom, tore it apart and peed all over it. Talk about a horrible task of trying to copy all of my considerable notes to clean paper. BTW I hate therapists because I always know what they are thinking and what they are going to say. I think you just think more than everyone else. My little sis. 16 acts like a ditzy person because that's what everyone seems to want. Heaven forbid you actually think about/care about things. :0)

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.