Thank you.

Two simple words yet they fail me when I need them most. Example, today on the bus the universe granted one of my wishes. Many of you know Adonis well today something happend that goes like this:

Me *walking off the bus*
AD: Oh (insert my name here, of course he said my real name, but I"m not posting that) I forget to tell you... you look nice today. I was going to tell you this morning...(trails off)
Me *Give thumbs up sign and smiles sarcastic like*
AD: *Gives thumbs up back*

I know I know why am I such a dofus? I couldn't even mutter something simple like thank you. I think it is because I'm shy, but we all know that I'm just making excuses so I feel better about my self. I hope to the universe he didn't doesn't won't care that I'm such a jerk. Of course I don't like him any more (that doesn't mean he isn't good looking, but I've come to realize he is just as immature as everyone else). I think this whole thing is like the typical - I love you, thank you drama (If you don't know what I'm talking about it means you have a life and don't watch 9 million hours of TV, and if you do don't feel bad we're all losers at some point in our lives). I think I just have an overall compliment getting problem. I always feel people aren't being geinuine when they give me compliments. Especially if it is someone I don't know well, but that stinks because it is all the more important to be respectful to people you don't know. Anyways I'm sure he doesn't care and he isn't getting all over analitical. There is a really great contest from PETA if you're interested: http://blog.peta.org/archives/2009/02/win_it_wednesda.php

I'm mad at you, no I'm mad at me

I do this thing were I get severly pissed off, and have these conversations in my head. Example:

Me=Me S=Subconcious (or consicous I have no clue but that little voice that is always right)

Me: Why does the universe dislike me with atomic intensity?

S: Maybe it isn't the universe. Why do you dislike yourself with atomic intensity?

Me: I don't *mutter* *mutter*



Me: Why am I so untalented?

S: Quit wanting things you don't have? *under breath* Spoiled Brat

Me: Why would I want them if I could have them?

S: You have plenty of talents, but not the rare kind.

Me: Oh thanks *rolls eyes*



These are the exact reasons why I believe no one should pay for therapy. Be your own therapist and save yourself a small fortune. I'm banning myself from TV I believe it is making me depressed (I'm serious). I always know that the movie about the person who got what they really wanted is fake and it only happens in movies, but I always have some glimmer of hope that it could happen to me. Or I could be the person who got everything they wanted blah blah. If I did get what I wanted I would just want more and more and there would be no end so I'm limiting the things I want to these 3 on the list right here.

1. Clear Skin (I can't tell you how many years I've wanted this)


2. To do Ballet and do it well. (I don't know why I desire this so but I do and I thorughly believe you should follow your passions)


3. To have someone outside my family tell me I look pretty. (I know so vain, but ugly people need to hear this more than the people who get told 1 million and 1 times a day. I guess it is something pretty sad to want, but I really just never feel like anyone likes me.)

So those are my three. I think 3 is a good number. Okay now more complaints,

I have been realizing over the past week that no one really likes me that much. I mean sure I have friends, but I always have a feeling that if I were gone no one would miss me. (I'm not talking about suicide, ewww I would never ever do that.) You know how you have friends but no best friends. Like when you have to choose partners you are the one who is always left in the dust. That girl is always me. I'm always stuck with someone I didn't want to work with.

Frustration

As you know I've been battling my acne (just imagine a 13 year old girl with cleanser in hand with a fierce expression). Well every where I go I see, "Oh acne is caused because of diet." This makes sense to me 100%. You are what you eat, but I eat no dairy products (have been known to cause acne). I also rarely eat fried or fatty foods. I think it is because I'm just not being patient. If I could have one thing in the whole world that would be it and it stinks because this is the thing I'm working the hardest and it's the one thing I have no control over. There is no "A" for effort in real life. Speaking of real life I hate how adults are always like, "Just wait until you get into the real world." Well then what the heck is this? Am I just practicing living or something. Is this life a lie? I don't get it. Yeah I know it sucks to be you Bills, Kids, Debt, Morgage, blah. I'm tired of hearing it. I will make a pact I should quit complaining about my life because it is so unimaginably boring and annoying to hear people complain. I good thing I didn't start this pact when I started my blog or I would have nothing to blog about. I think there is no point in complaining about something unless you are going to do something about it.
I apologize about my acne rant, I know I will eventually have clear skin but I hate waiting.